The day started at a leisurely pace with a refreshing shower and some time on the computer while I ate my breakfast of cream cheese with black currant jam on toast. After this I made my way to the train station where I treated myself to some small cigars and a Chai Latte.
Once I reached King's Cross Station I caught the tube to Piccadilly Circus. As I wandered towards Shaftesbury Memorial I heard a tentative voice enquire "Paulos?" Turning round I was greeted by a tussle-haired Welshman with a crooked smile and ruddy cheeks. He was somewhat rounder of face and greyer of hair than I was expecting but it was unmistakably Emir, a chap I had never met before.
Not in real life in any case. We had seen off Mexican Terrorists in Las Vegas and survived zombie hordes together but this was our first time meeting in the flesh. We smiled at one another and shook hands, much as I imagine old army veterans do when they greet, knowing that their's is a bond normal folk can never understand. Emir introduced me to his other half and we exchanged pleasantries.
Shortly thereafter we were joined by Swallow who was wearing a not-at-all-effeminate hoody and carrying a bumper book of Martyrs. Both Emir and I had had the pleasure of meeting Swallow previously. As we were slightly early we wandered around a little before returning to meet FurryGreenMnstr who turned out to be far manlier than I expected given that he enjoys soccer.
Next to join us, resplendent in his usual Wehrmacht Couture, was Herr Neetz. I fear he has contracted some strange podiatric condition since we last met a year or so ago as he was having to wear boots that would have comfortably housed several Cuban families and enabled them to sail to America. To be fair though, they were immaculately polished. And pointy. Very, very pointy.
MattyD, accompanied by Mrs D, was easy for me to recognise as I had previously seen a picture of him half naked in his bathroom. I am sure others were slightly disappointed that he isn't in fact a cross between Arnie and Rambo but at least he was wearing a sort of army green top. I thought he could've at least made the effort to don combat fatigues. He does have very firm breasts (and nipples) as I later found out when we had a group photo.
We drifted about trying to decide where we should eat. Eventually, Swallow's stomach got the better of him and he went into Yates's. We followed and were treated to typical English cuisine. That is to say the sort of food that makes the rest of the world not want to eat in England. And English people too given FurryGreenMnstr's subsequent physiological problems which saw him spending much time with his posterior to the porcelain.
The Trocadero was our next stop where MattyD and Herr Neetz indulged in some Rambo and Ghost Squad action in the arcade. It was a beautiful sight to behold and hordes of young women thronged round and gasped in delight at the manly prowess on display. It is a well established fact in the academic community that playing games makes you an instant babe magnet.
After this we made our way to Waxy's to meet our final friend from The Internet: Spags1976 aka Spagmasterswift aka Uncle Spaggles and his other half who we know as MOOSE Handler. As a quick aside, Mrs G is known as The Duchess. Spags is much larger than I imagined (I don't mean that it an uncomplimentary way) and has the look of a mischievous school boy who has managed to sneak a glance at his French teacher's ample cleavage.
There were, sadly, some from our Merry Internet Band who were unable to be with us today: one short, blond man with the voice of an Ent (Jimmbob ) seemed to think that he ought to spend time with his heavily pregnant wife (36 weeks after nine months of marriage - you do the maths) and one angry, bald man (RedOilCan) who couldn't be arsed. And there are others who I shall not name for fear of scaring the children.
We had a few very pleasant hours together and it was wonderful to be able to join Spags in celebrating his 33rd birthday. Although the others were carrying on for longer I had to leave around 6:00 and make my way back to Cambridge. I left comforted, both by the manly hugs we shared and the thought that we shall see one another again.
Freaks was a thing I photographed a lot. It was one of the first things I photographed and it had a terrific kind of excitement for me. I just used to adore them. I still do adore some of them. I don't quite mean they're my best friends but they made me feel a mixture of shame and awe. ~ Diane Arbus
it was great fun!
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