Reconstruction imminent. Possibly.

I might do something with this blog at some point in the not too distant future. Or not. I do Tweet daily and Tumbl every couple of days, so if you're needing a fix of my random brain splurges check there. Or not.

Whatever.

Muse

Awaiting inspiration.

Endurance

I'm an eye. A mechanical eye. I, the machine, show you a world the way only I can see it. I free myself for today and forever from human immobility.

I'm in constant movement. I approach and pull away from objects. I creep under them. I move alongside a running horse's mouth. I fall and rise with the falling and rising bodies. This is I, the machine, maneuvering in the chaotic movements, recording one movement after another in the most complex combination.

Freed from the boundaries of time and space, I coordinate any and all points of the universe, wherever I want them to be. My way leads to the creation of a fresh perception of the world. Thus I explain in a new way the world unknown to you. ~ Dziga Vertov

WATCH

I had to get up early to give Mrs G a lift to the train station today. She's off to listen to the Church of England's debate about why you need a penis to be a Bishop in London. Just to clarify - the debate is being held in London: a penis is currently required to be a Bishop anywhere in England. It seems to me that there are a few too many Bishops that could do with a right good bashing.

As I was up early I thought I may as well bimble about Cambridge for a bit. So I did.

I sat and had a Chai Tea Latte while smoking a mini cigar and had a good view of people setting up their market stalls. My telephoto lens came in very handy for taking photos unobtrusively.

I took a few shots of some of Cambridge's wonderful buildings but nothing that particularly inspired me. I spent most of my time observing people and got a decent shot of a chap wearing a fedora having a good go at clearing his nose with a tissue. Other than that my favourite shot was of a cleaning cart in a shopping mall.

Many an object is not seen, though it falls within the range of our visual ray, because it does not come within the range of our intellectual ray, i.e. we are not looking for it. So, in the largest sense, we find only the world we look for. ~ Henry Thoreau

Together again for the first time

There are some moments in life that are just so full of win and amaze that it is difficult to find the words to do them justice. I trust you will forgive me, dear reader, as I struggle to convey the magnificence of yesterday.

The day started at a leisurely pace with a refreshing shower and some time on the computer while I ate my breakfast of cream cheese with black currant jam on toast. After this I made my way to the train station where I treated myself to some small cigars and a Chai Latte.

Once I reached King's Cross Station I caught the tube to Piccadilly Circus. As I wandered towards Shaftesbury Memorial I heard a tentative voice enquire "Paulos?" Turning round I was greeted by a tussle-haired Welshman with a crooked smile and ruddy cheeks. He was somewhat rounder of face and greyer of hair than I was expecting but it was unmistakably Emir, a chap I had never met before.

Not in real life in any case. We had seen off Mexican Terrorists in Las Vegas and survived zombie hordes together but this was our first time meeting in the flesh. We smiled at one another and shook hands, much as I imagine old army veterans do when they greet, knowing that their's is a bond normal folk can never understand. Emir introduced me to his other half and we exchanged pleasantries.

Shortly thereafter we were joined by Swallow who was wearing a not-at-all-effeminate hoody and carrying a bumper book of Martyrs. Both Emir and I had had the pleasure of meeting Swallow previously. As we were slightly early we wandered around a little before returning to meet FurryGreenMnstr who turned out to be far manlier than I expected given that he enjoys soccer.

Next to join us, resplendent in his usual Wehrmacht Couture, was Herr Neetz. I fear he has contracted some strange podiatric condition since we last met a year or so ago as he was having to wear boots that would have comfortably housed several Cuban families and enabled them to sail to America. To be fair though, they were immaculately polished. And pointy. Very, very pointy.

MattyD, accompanied by Mrs D, was easy for me to recognise as I had previously seen a picture of him half naked in his bathroom. I am sure others were slightly disappointed that he isn't in fact a cross between Arnie and Rambo but at least he was wearing a sort of army green top. I thought he could've at least made the effort to don combat fatigues. He does have very firm breasts (and nipples) as I later found out when we had a group photo.

We drifted about trying to decide where we should eat. Eventually, Swallow's stomach got the better of him and he went into Yates's. We followed and were treated to typical English cuisine. That is to say the sort of food that makes the rest of the world not want to eat in England. And English people too given FurryGreenMnstr's subsequent physiological problems which saw him spending much time with his posterior to the porcelain.

The Trocadero was our next stop where MattyD and Herr Neetz indulged in some Rambo and Ghost Squad action in the arcade. It was a beautiful sight to behold and hordes of young women thronged round and gasped in delight at the manly prowess on display. It is a well established fact in the academic community that playing games makes you an instant babe magnet.

After this we made our way to Waxy's to meet our final friend from The Internet: Spags1976 aka Spagmasterswift aka Uncle Spaggles and his other half who we know as MOOSE Handler. As a quick aside, Mrs G is known as The Duchess. Spags is much larger than I imagined (I don't mean that it an uncomplimentary way) and has the look of a mischievous school boy who has managed to sneak a glance at his French teacher's ample cleavage.

There were, sadly, some from our Merry Internet Band who were unable to be with us today: one short, blond man with the voice of an Ent (Jimmbob ) seemed to think that he ought to spend time with his heavily pregnant wife (36 weeks after nine months of marriage - you do the maths) and one angry, bald man (RedOilCan) who couldn't be arsed. And there are others who I shall not name for fear of scaring the children.

We had a few very pleasant hours together and it was wonderful to be able to join Spags in celebrating his 33rd birthday. Although the others were carrying on for longer I had to leave around 6:00 and make my way back to Cambridge. I left comforted, both by the manly hugs we shared and the thought that we shall see one another again.

Freaks was a thing I photographed a lot. It was one of the first things I photographed and it had a terrific kind of excitement for me. I just used to adore them. I still do adore some of them. I don't quite mean they're my best friends but they made me feel a mixture of shame and awe. ~ Diane Arbus

Unhurried

So I've had my new camera for over a week now. Haven't taken as many pictures as I would've liked to but I am starting to get a good feel for the equipment. Mind you, I did have a bit of a worry the other day when I was trying to photograph a set of traffic lights which had been knocked over (but were still working). There was a bit of a delay between pressing the shutter release button and the photo being taken. I thought that a fault may have developed but eventually I realised that the last time I used it I'd set the self-timer button to a 2 second delay. No wonder I was getting loads of pictures of the footpath.

I did manage to get quite a few shots of ducks. Ducks are surprisingly photogenic. I'm hoping I'll get quite a few bird shots soon. Our back yard here in Cambridge used to get all sorts of feathered creatures. As we were away for six months they've been seeking food elsewhere. Now that we're back and putting seed out they're slowly returning so I'll soon be zooming in on robins, sparrows, finches, wrens, pigeons, doves and tits. I do like to zoom in on tits.

Tomorrow I'm hoping I'll get the chance to click like crazy. I'm off to London for the day to meet some folk I've never met before so will hopefully get the chance to take lots of people pics. Just a shame they're such a bunch of ugly bastards. Oh well. Gotta start somewhere I suppose.

Anyone interested in birds, as I am, is likely to come round sooner rather than later, to their challenge as nature made them. ~David Bailey

Felicity

As it happens I didn't actually end up taking any pictures on the day my new camera arrived. By the time the battery had finished charging I knew that my seven year old nephew would be playing on his Dad's Xbox 360. As his favourite (only) Uncle I felt I ought not deprive him of my presence online as it's been a while since we had the chance to game together. We had great fun racing round a virtual Los Angeles, crashing and encasing each other in giant blocks of ice. Amazing how realistic video games are these days.

Earlier in the day I spent a lot of time pouring over the manual in the hopes that I'll learn easier, faster and more convenient ways to get the results I want. Most of it made sense and I'm sure I'll be able to pick more up as I go along. There was just one thing I couldn't quite work out:

Page 46 of the manual informs me that "For the preview function to work by pressing the Fn button, it is necessary to set the function of the Fn button on the menu beforehand (see P.89)". Page 89 informs me that "While holding down the Fn button, you can use the preview function (see page 46)". After getting stuck in a loop flipping between these two pages, unable to figure out how to set this preview function, I realised that there was only one course of action left to me. The following day I turned to the Internet for help.

After much fruitless googling I ended up asking the fine folk on the Olympus SLR Talk forum at dpreview.com for help. Within minutes I had an answer to my question - thank you Internet! I don't actually want to use the preview function by pressing the Fn button by the way. I just want to know how to. And now I do.

The next day, as per usual, Mrs G left me a list of chores of Herculean proportions. One of these is a trip to the local Post Office. On the way back I decided to take a slight detour via a church graveyard and take a few test shots using the 14-42mm lens. The E-520 was a joy to use. So much more responsive that the compact camera I was used to. The layout of the functions seemed well thought out and I had no trouble finding my way around the various settings. I took 20 pictures and loaded them onto the PC as soon as I got home.

I was reasonably pleased with the initial results. Not so much with the images themselves (which were tests and not terribly interesting) but with the amount of detail and colour reproduction. I still have a lot of learning and a lot of work to do though. Later that evening I met Mrs G at her college for a meal and took some low-light photos of the Common Room. I was able to take hand-held shots using the built in image stabiliser at 1/8 of a second. Colour me impressed.

I'm going to enjoy this camera.

To photograph is to hold one's breath, when all faculties converge to capture fleeting reality. It's at that precise moment that mastering an image becomes a great physical and intellectual joy.

For me photography is to place one's head, heart and eye along the same line of sight. It is a way of life. ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

Arrival

When the door bell rings, just moments after finishing my first entry on this blog, I feel a slight thrill of excitement. I've never seen such a good looking postman as he beams at me and hands me a large parcel. It's from Amazon so I know that my new camera is within. I place the packet reverently on the dining room table and carefully use a knife to slice open the packing tape. Removing the padding I am greeted by a compact box which I gingerly remove. I pour myself another coffee and get comfortable on the sofa.

For a while I just look at the box , savouring the moment. Eventually I pry it gently open. There are warranties, manuals, a DVD and CD at the top which I place to one side. And there it is: my Olympus E-520. I carefully remove the foam and plastic wrapping and just hold it for a while, softly caressing its curves and tentatively pushing its buttons. The two lenses are surprisingly light. One is 14-42mm and the other 40-150mm (double for 35mm equivalent).

As I have to charge the battery it will be a few hours before I can take any photos. In the meantime I watch the DVD guide which Olympus have thoughtfully included. It's a little bit cheesy but the information provided gives a very useful overview of the camera and its functions. Once it's finished I securely fit the strap and attach each lens in turn, delighting in the click as they lock into place.

Looking through the viewfinder for the first time I can't help but smile. A contented glow fills me and I feel like I've had an epiphany, which, given the day, seems quite appropriate.

Your equipment DOES NOT affect the quality of your image. The less time and effort you spend worrying about your equipment the more time and effort you can spend creating great images. The right equipment just makes it easier, faster or more convenient for you to get the results you need. ~ Ken Rockwell

Waiting

The alarm goes off at stupid o'clock. We've been back in Cambridge for two days and Mrs G's early morning routine has started again. Which means that my early morning do-whatever-I-like non-routine has started again.

I just finished eating a bowl of Special K Oats & Honey followed by a bowl of Special K Bliss Creamy Berry Crunch. Yes, that's right: only 3% fat. Having given up alcohol one month and one day ago (not that I'm counting) I've decided that I need to stave off the not-quite-middle-age-yet spread. As I'm now 40 I figure I'll need to put in a bit of effort if I want to keep my Adonis like physique. Mrs G truly is a blessed woman.

Now that breakfast is out of the way I've poured myself a cup of coffee (with cream) and I wait. After several years of thinking about it I finally got round to ordering myself a new DSLR (Digital Single Lens Reflex) camera which I'm expecting to be delivered today. I've always had something of an interest in looking at pictures (no, not that kind you pervs) but didn't really get into taking photographs until six years or so ago. My trusty Nikon Coolpix 4300 has served me well but it's a fairly basic digital compact.

As well as taking thousands of pictures and looking at bazillions of pictures I've also done a fair bit of reading about photography. Knowledge of shutter speeds, apertures, ISO, depth of field, focal length and other such things are all lurking somewhere in my brain waiting for an opportunity to be put into practice. And today they will get that chance! Well, maybe. I'll have to charge the battery first and then work out how the thingy goes into the wotsit. Presuming it does arrive that is.

So until then I'll drink copious cups of coffee, upload some more of my American Adventure photos and do a spot of reading (I downloaded the DSLR manual from t'interweb).

When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence. ~ Ansel Adams